Baseball the way it oughta be

  Some readers may recall that I swore off watching the Minnesota Twins when they pushed through a new tax to support a new stadium. Many people, even those who opposed the stadium, think I'm nuts, but I am still not watching... even when they're on TV. It's a matter of principle. The stadium tax was wrong in every possible way, pushed through illegally, bypassing the legal and required referendum because legislators KNEW that the fans would oppose it if they were asked. So... they didn't ask.

I understand being a baseball fan. As I mentioned before, my father was a die-hard Cubs fan for all those many decades when it became clear that winning wasn't all fans wanted. I enjoyed Twins baseball in the losing years BEFORE the '87 World Series... enjoyed watching a bunch of kids doing their damndest to compete against big-bucks veteran teams. I watched them get better and gel as a team, playing sound baseball. Every play and at-bat was important then. When they won, it was because they played over their heads, trying harder, and thinking constantly. THAT was fun and exciting baseball. When those kids pulled off the Magic in '87, it was simply the epitome of sports excitement. It was an impossible dream transformed into breathtaking reality. I have it all on tape and can relive the tension and thrills.

The Twins are moving into their new stadium. I'm sure it will be a glorious experience, but it doesn't have a damned thing to do with baseball. Yes, it will make Minneapolis seem a little more like a major-league city, but what is that worth? The team won't play any better because of it, and the individual players won't suddenly blossom into stars. Fans will get rained on occasionally, or sweat out some hot muggy weather instead of sitting in the enclosed comfort of the old dome. There will be a delusion that the new outdoor stadium is a return to "real" baseball, but the opposite will also be true. A nice new stadium with a mediocre team won't draw crowds for long... the Twin Cities fan base is very much a fair-weather crowd. Win and we'll adore you... lose and we'll find something else to get excited about.

BASEBALL, on the other hand, continues unabated and unsullied in a small outdoor fun-filled stadium in St. Paul, home to the minor league St. Paul Saints. Very few baseball fans would notice a difference in the level of play between the Twins and the Saints. Right now, the Saints' record is .545, 1 game out of the division lead, while the Twins are at .500 and 3 games ack.What you WILL notice is that the Saint's games, win or lose, are fun for the fans. Lots of goofy things happen, and the fans are very much part of the experience. There's a lot of tailgating in the parking lot next to the stadium. The team mascot is a pig... actually two pigs... a real pig named Slumhog Millionaire, who carries fresh baseballs to the umpire, and a big bright-pink pig, Mudonna. In St. Paul, baseball is a real hoot. The Saints have what they call Ushertainers, who act as roaming cheerleaders, each with a distinct personality. Seventeen concessions stands with every sort of ballpark food you can imagine... no food item is more than $5.

At a recent game, we sat in the General Admission section, just down the left-field line behind 3rd base. Those Saint's tickets are $5 ($4 for Youth and Seniors). The very same seating for a Twins game is $31. The Saint's, not surprisingly, fill 98% of their seats, even though every home game is televised. The best reserved seats at Midway Stadium are $12.

The Saints, and a lot of other minor-league teams, are a great example of baseball the way it should be... no tax subsidies, no threats to leave town, and no municipal stadium. Sure, baseball is a business, an entertainment business. The Saints give you a lot more for your money, and they don't steal it out of your pocket. They work for it.